The art of negotiation is making the other person think they had the idea in the first place. Are your skills up to scratch? Do you know how to deal with a client who is just downright not receptive? In this episode, hostage negotiator and all-round genius, Chris Voss shares with us his experience of negotiating in the toughest situations, and how negotiation can be easy when you know all of the tips and tricks the specialists use.

The secret to gaining the upper hand in a negotiation is to give the other side the illusion of control. -Chris Voss

Takeaways + Tactics

In so many deals, money is important, but it’s not the MOST important element in a deal.

Starting with a cold read is a powerful way to start any negotiation, you’re looking for a “that’s right” response, OR they correct you.

The avoidance of loss is twice as powerful a motivating factor as the pursuit of gain.


Script ebook coverPodcastiTunesButton1391840309


The Art of Negotiating

In this episode we began with Chris Voss telling us about his history in the police force, and how he became a hostage negotiator. He then went on to share with us the art of negotiation. We discussed the soft approach in negotiation and how you shouldn’t always try to go directly for your end goal. Following on from that we discussed how important it is to give the other side the illusion that they are in control. Later on we talked about the importance of letting them know personal information about yourself and how important it is to tap into emotions. Towards the end of the show, we spoke about tactical empathy and the important difference between someone saying, “That’s right.” Rather than, “You’re right.” We finished off by talking about mirroring and repeating the last three words that someone has said to you.

We also shared insights on;

  • The use of first names in negotiations.
  • How to deal with a last minute change of heart
  • How NO fits into the negotiation strategy
  • How to get over that initial resistance

Emotions Trump Money in Negotiating

Emotions are the most powerful tool in negotiation, more important than money. It’s important to present yourself as a real person, so you can tap into the emotional undercurrent of the person. One of the key elements of negotiation is letting the other person feel as though they are in control of the conversation and you can do this by letting the other person speak first. If you do it this way you, are already in the process of gaining the upper hand.

Guest Bio

Christopher Voss is an American businessman, author, and professor. Voss is a former FBI hostage negotiator, the CEO of The Black Swan Group Ltd, and co-author of the book, Never Split the Difference. He is an adjunct Professor at Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business and a lecturer at the Marshall School of Business at University of Southern California. For more information head over to his website;

This content brought to you by Real Estate Uncensored, a sales and marketing training podcast, that gives you actionable ideas, insight, inspiration to turn your real estate career into a life of freedom, featuring co-hosts Greg McDaniel and Matt Johnson.